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Weddings at St Mary’s.

Weddings at St Mary’s.

Dear Enquirer,

It is always a joy to welcome couples to our church as they seek to be married. If you are reading this, you may be such a couple.

The church with church yard is a wonderful setting, medieval in style, and is the oldest in the City. The congregation is also very welcoming and very helpful.

You do not have to be resident in the Parish, but by joining the church, we can read your Banns as part of the legal procedure.

Getting married is a process, beginning with making contact with me as parish priest. We can talk about how you see plans ahead, and I would need to know things like a planned date, where you live, your ages et cetera. We just get to know each other a little.

Once the legal aspects are made clear, we can relax and think more about the wedding ceremony itself. The questions come thick and fast- how much will it cost?; how long does it last?; can we have the bells? what about the flowers, and an Order of Service? Worry not! We shall meet up several times and gradually, the mists clear, and all things come together.

Below we have some answers to some of your questions, but there is no substitute to meeting up and making a start.

Our belief, of course, is that being married is a seriously joyful way of life, and the service will reflect and begin that life for you and your partner.


 

Some questions you may have.

What type of Service do we have?

The service planning we do together, and you can have choices about the service. There is a modern and a more traditional form of service. At St. Mary’s we use the Book of Common Prayer in preference. The test for you would be, would you prefer The Lord’s Prayer to begin, ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name…’, or, ‘Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name..’? We can talk about it.

What are Banns?

These are really an old fashion way of finding out whether you can legally marry. For three Sundays, prior to the wedding, your names are read out to the congregation, and I ask if anyone can legally object. If you are not already married, not closely related or not an illegal immigrant, then you can. We can talk about it.

Do we marry divorced people?

Yes. Anyone has the right to be married in their Parish Church for the first time. We are advised, though, to be more thorough in making sure you are making the right decision should you be divorced. Evidence of a divorce has to be produced.

 

How many hymns do we have to have?

You don’t have to have any hymns at all! If you do, there are three and we have to make sure that they are well known and that people will sing them. You may choose songs that are special to yourselves, or indeed have favourite CD music. It is the same with any readings, you choose. Maybe a friend of relative would read something, or even say something. We can advise you on the choices of hymns. We can talk about it.

Here are some suggested hymns:

·         For the beauty of the earth

·         Love divine, all loves excelling

·         O worship the King

·         Praise, my soul, the King of heaven

·         Praise to the Lord, the Almighty

·         All people that on earth do dwell

·         Come down O love divine

·         Father hear the prayer we offer

·         Fill thou my life, O Lord my God

·         God of mercy, God of grace

·         O praise ye the Lord!

·         O thou who camest from above

·         The King of Love my shepherd is

·         The Lord’s my shepherd

·         Now thank we all our God

·         Give me joy in my heart

·         Lord of all hopefulness

·         Father, Lord of all creation

·         O perfect love

Most hymn books have a `first-line’ index.

What about flowers?

These are really your responsibility, but we can help with arranging and providing flowers. We can talk about it.

How do we get ready for the day?

Generally, I meet with you both 3-4 times. Firstly, we get all the legal paper work sorted out and be sure of the date, time et cetera. Then we meet together to look at the words of the service. This is a time for deeper questions and exploring together the meaning of such a commitment to each other. Nearer the time we have a ‘rehearsal’ in church with all the other participants. We can talk about it.

 

 

Who else is involved?

Traditionally, the bride has someone to ‘give her away’; the bridegroom needs a ‘best man’. You can have any number of bridesmaids, including a ‘maid of honour', and ‘page boys’ of course. You need a minister/registrar. If you choose me, then I act as registrar as well, (That is the beauty of the Church of England). You will need at least two witnesses to sign the all important registers. They must be over eighteen and been awake! You might need an organist, you might want the bell ringers. Ushers are helpful to welcome people as they arrive. We can talk about it.

How much will it cost?

There are set registration fees which I cannot vary. Sadly, they go up year on year, but for 2015 they are:

·         reading the Banns…………………………………….£28.00

·         the Marriage Service …………………………………£413.00

·         the Organist, (if required) …………………………..£40.00

·         the Bells, (if reqested) ……………………………….£80.00

·         contributions to heating (if needed) ………………£30.00

We can talk about it.

Can we have confetti/photographs/video?

Yes, but not in the central, serious part of the service. Mobile phones will be confiscated if they ring!

Where do we park?

The Bridal car will park on the road outside the west door of the church. There is on street parking for guests, but we also have use of a private car park at the back of the church, but you will need permits from us beforehand. We can talk about it.

 Please feel free to contact us at whatever stage you are in your planning.

Blessings for your journey through it all.

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Wedding of Mr & Mrs Newell 11 July 2015
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Wedding of Mr & Mrs Newell 11 July 2015
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